Happy New Year kiddiez! it's been a long time since anyone even posted on this site.. the other day i went to the mall with frida and we were talking about "us" as in nee_lovee_ree... quite interesting how we all ended up but this doesn't mean it's the end.. anyways.. i just wanted to do a final post to let all our xanga readers that this site is more than likely officially over. it shocked me to know how many people actually come visit our site just to read our posts.. i honestly thought it was just us four girls who basically viewed our page.. but there seemed to be a whole lot more of you guys who read.. i'm guessing that majority of you know what has happened to us.. well.. i'm guessing that majority of you guys think you know what happened.. yes i know there was lots of talking and everyone was (or probably still are) shocked.. i'm not going to try to explain myself or our situation...let's leave the judging to God. our business is our business.. hMm.. well, i just wanted to wish everyone good luck in tha years that lie ahead of us.. uhm.. i didn't even tell anyone about this final post.. probably because it doesn't matter to me if you guys read it or not.. this isn't for show.. i'm doing this just because i feel that i need tah end our site since there wasn't any real closure to it.. there's lots of good memories on this thing.. it'll be fun reading back on them.. well kidz.. good luck to us and see you in ten

here are a few clippings out of songs.. don't read tOo much into them:

You hold the answers deep within your own mind.
Consciously, you've forgotten it.
That's the way the human mind works.
Whenever something is too unpleasant, to shameful for us
to entertain, we reject it.
We erase it from our memories.
But the imprint is always there.

(Can't wash it all away)
(Can't Wish it all away)
(Can't hope it all away)
(Can't cry it all away)

The pain that grips you
The fear that binds you
Releases life in me
In our mutual
Shame we idolize
To blind them from the truth
That finds a way from who we are
Please don't be afraid
When the darkness fades away
The dawn will break the silence
Screaming in our hearts
My love for you still grows
This I do for you
Before I try to fight the truth my final time

We're supposed to try and be real.
And I feel alone, and we're not together. And that is real.

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating mind
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase


I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

told you i'd still xanga in here...anywhooo...nothing much going on really...my house is starting to actually look normal...took out all the blankets my mom stuffed in my closet sooooo yes - more closet space means more clothes!  heh....gotta buy me some more clothes but i need money!  ahhhk...plus christmas is coming...i wonder how and with who am i gonna be spending this winter break with...knowing that i haven't even seen or heard from some people in the longest time *AHEM*...

but anywho, schoolwise - i have a b in chem - if i can pull of an a on the next midterm & final...then it'll go back to that a!  as for math - heck, i have no clue what my grade is, i only know that i have to get an A on everything from now on in order for me to get an A...writing - don't know, don't care, as long as i pass the class and get it over with...and as for next quarter - man enrollment is here once again and it sucks cause i was assigned a late appointment!  here i go again with not getting the classes i want!  i had it all planned out but knowing that i register so late, i'm probably gonna have to make alternate schedules...arghhhh...

but anywho, i should get going on hw seriously now...and to all you youngins - high school students...